Adoption Myths Busted, Part 1

image by Stuart Miles

The most important thing for anyone to know about adoption is that, chances are, you don’t know anything. I was surprised to find, when I first set foot into the world of adoption, how inaccurate most of my notions of adoption were. And in my conversations with people from many varying levels of education and experience on the matter, I have encountered some shocking ideas. I try to cut folks some slack knowing I was once so unenlightened. Also, given the rapid and dramatic evolution adoption has undergone, even in my lifetime, as well as the media’s love for horror stories and worst case scenarios, it isn’t any wonder that many have outdated or fearful thoughts on the matter.

To people in the adoption family, these things are sacred. To have something so beautiful and so much a part of who we are and what we love misunderstood can feel like the sharpest dagger to the most tender part of the heart (and some of us can get pretty feisty).

So, for the next few weeks we’re going to feature some of the most common and most harmful myths and misconceptions.


X   “Birthparents don’t want their babies.”

I saved the worst for first. I’m not kiddin’, it hurt my chest to write that.

I have not met this birthmom.

Abortion is ever more available, affordable, and acceptable. The woman who can’t be bothered to raise a child, I would think would take this route.

I wanted Justin more than anything I’d ever wanted. it took me months to get over myself. The only thing I wanted more than to have his hand always in mine was for him to have all that could be his.

Adoption is rarely a birthmother’s Plan A. To come to and through this choice, we must break our own hearts, defy our very instinct. Never believe that it is anything other than the love of our children that could enable us to do this impossible thing.

– Tamra Hyde
Birth Mother, UFA Board Member
We want to hear from you. Have you encountered this misconceptions about birth parents? 
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