Info for Expectant Parents

Whether or not to make an adoption plan for your baby is something only you can decide. But there are answers to your questions and many helpful resources to support you.

image by mahalie
How do I tell my parents, boyfriend…anyone?
It’s important not to wait. Try to be simple and straightforward whether it is face to face, over the phone, or in a letter. You could tell them that you are trying to decide the right thing to do for the baby and for you. Maybe you could invite them to talk with a counselor with you to help figure things out.

Where can I go or call for free help and answers – without feeling any pressure?
Most adoption agencies will offer decision-making counseling, not just adoption planning. There is no cost to you for counseling services and services are confidential, even for minors.

Is adoption a permanent option?
Yes, the child becomes permanently and legally part of the adoptive family.

Is adoption a way out for me and just a selfish decision?
No. Putting the child’s welfare first is a true act of love and one of the most selfless things that anyone can do. This is hard love – hard to decide – hard to do – truly caring.

Are birth parents likely to feel sadness after adoption?
Of course they are. You will need to accept feelings of sadness and loss. But the hope for that child’s happiness and the sure start in life you helped to give the child can be a source of strength to you. Agencies can also offer grief counseling for birth parents struggling after placing their child. It’s important to know that people are there to help you through the difficult times.

Do children belong with their birth parents?
Children need to be cared for, day in and day out, year after year, in a stable, supportive, and loving environment. If you are questioning whether you can provide this for your child in the short-term and the long-term, then adoption may be a good option. Keep in mind, you shouldn’t feel bad for asking these questions. Adoption is an option that loving parents have chosen throughout history.

Will people think badly of me for choosing adoption?
Some may, while others will be incredibly supportive. There are different attitudes about adoption in our society. Perhaps no one in your family has ever made this choice before. But it’s your life and you get to decide what’s best. It takes strength and courage to do what you believe is right. Selecting adoption may be the most loving option you can choose. It is your decision.

Can I get financial help with the cost of childbirth?
In cases of need, financial assistance is available for health care costs. Help for costs related to adoption should be discussed with your adoption agency.

Will my baby be well taken care of?
Today there are thousands of couples who are unable to have children. They dearly desire to become adoptive parents and are ready to love and raise a child. Many are already waiting. They have been carefully evaluated and approved by adoption agencies. In most cases you have the option to be involved in interviewing and selecting the parents for your child.

Will I know how my baby is doing after placing him or her for adoption?
Most adoptions today are “open” adoptions. This means that there is some level of contact between the birth parents and the child and adoptive parents. The contact may include visits or simply a letter and pictures every year. Part of the adoption process involves determining the type of openness you want and incorporating those needs into the adoption plans.

How do I get started?
Begin by asking yourself these hard questions:
• Am I able to meet a child’s needs?
• Would I have to count on my parents to take over for me?
• Can I raise a child and meet my own needs? to finish school? start a career?
• Am I really ready to become a good parent on my own?
Hard love means thinking of the baby first.

Shared with permission from the Adoption Option Council of MN.
We want to hear from you. What other questions do you think expectant parents need answers to when considering adoption? Comment below, or send us your experience for posting.

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